avant-Blog
On Sweet Sixteen (30 v 21)
Watched, by pure chance, a 1983 sitcom called /Sweet Sixteen/. The report is that one season aired, and was not renewed because of low audience. It is sharply written, with subtle character psychology and crisp dialogues. Premise is a couple aged respectively 41 and 25. Appears that in the 80s Britain wasn't ready for woman-older-than-man... Penelope Keith and Christopher Villiers are superb. Pity it was in advance of its time, more series would have been great.
On E. Poots (14 v 21)
Apparently a Poots is a Kashmiri tunic or gown. So I'm calling him Mr Edwin Tunic Or Gown, from now on.
On to-do-list (11 v 21)
5 pages. With vaccination advancing, must get head round getting on with all the things blocked or slowed by Covid. Did a full To Do list. Result, 5 pages. And that's before breaking down the huge tasks into sub-tasks. That's .. 5 pages. At least now I know why I feel tired...
On Jenni Murray’s A History of the World in 21 Women (10 v 21)
Very impressed by Jenni Murray's /A History of the World in 21 Women/. Her call-out of Robert Schumann's saying he was 'disturbed' by his wife not having enough time to compose (as well as nursing him, having eight children, supporting them all with her performances...) is clear :
"Not disturbed enough, though, to take on his share of the childcare and the housework and the endless performances she gave to keep the family finances afloat. And there you have it. Two great composers living in the same household but only one of them faced with that ‘tyranny of choice’".
(Murray, Jenni. /A History of the World in 21 Women/. One world Publications. Kindle Edition).
On “Northern Ireland’s £9.4bn subvention and the cost of Irish unity” (/IT/ 2/5/21).
Yes. No rush, people.
Does it seem that many in NI wanted to remain British when Ireland became independent, seeing themselves as more prosperous? And that the so-called "conversation" about unity (though who is actually having it?) arises because the opposite is now the case? Wish you all well, as also the other regions of Britain which have been milked for political power, then under-managed and resourced. But more interested in seeing smaller class sizes in schools here, better protection for abused persons, support for cleaner energy use, etc.
If all classes were 10-12 students (1-2-1 for some children) with support teachers always available for illness etc replacement, free books and materials - think of the money we would save in coping with unemployment, people being under-classed, and its consequences - reduced delinquency, crime, prison and justice costs, support for victims of crime, loss of ideas and potential for progress. wasted lives.
That's just the resources gain - then there's the better society we would have. Hey, who knew ideals and pragmatics go hand in hand, if forward planning happens? Not politicians thinking in three-year periods. But if the electorate makes it clear these goods are what we want and will continue to want? Vote, everyone, and tell your reps what you are voting for.
Ok, have just finished correcting proofs, so want the world to get /better/.
On post-vaccine cheerful musings (2 v 21)
Feeling ropy after first vaccine (NB not whinging, v relieved) – trying to rest while reading about Venice - aaah Venice! - and inventing new versions of the Bellini. We know the Rossini (Prosecco and strawberry puree or liqueur) and the Puccini (mandarin juice) and the Tintoretto (pomegranate juice). How about:
The Rosalba (Carriera, 18th c painter): (Prosecco and Chambord wild raspberry liqueur, or raspberry puree)?
The Monteverdi (Prosecco and St Germain elderflower liqueur)?
The Caterina (Cornaro, Venetian queen of Cyprus and arts patron): Prosecco and Amaretto)?
Another, invented by Kate Brown: Artemisia (prosecco and Averna).
On Covid deaths (16 iv 21)
Covid deaths per million:
Ireland: 975.
Britain: 1,899. (Highest. Difficult to understanding any British grandstanding re Covid)
France: 1,470.66
US: 1,715.03
Canada: 624.7
New Zealand: 5.29
On reinvigorating drinks while writing, when too much tea has been taken. (10 ii 21)
AR has invented the "Cosmopolitine" (or "White Knight" aka "It's My Own Invention"): 1/3 cranberry juice, 1/3 lime juice, 1/3 sparkling water (or soda water or tonic if preferred). Good for working. when have had enough tea.
On good English (9 ii 21)
Dear media people and scriptwriters, Could adjectives for something being good go beyond the over-used "amazing" and "incredible"? Could sentences not end quite so often in "as well"? Thanks. PS So grateful if I could never hear “comfy” again. (It’s “comfortable”).
On Cara O’Sullivan (RIP) (26 i 21)
Cara O'Sullivan RIP. A great artist, a much-beloved person, as shown in the tributes to her singing, and her great kindness, at her benefit concerts.
On wrong Irish accents in the media
I am a fan of BBC radio 4 - but could they please stop, whenever there is an Irish character in a play, having them speak with a thick brogue? There are many Irish accents, as there are British. There's no excuse for using just one of them: there are recordings of W.B. Yeats and G.B. Shaw speaking, and a variety of Irish voices have spoken on the BBC - Anthony Clare, Frank Kennedy, Fiona Shaw, Henry Kelly, Dara O Briain, Marian Keyes, etc.
On travel spreading Covid (21 i 21)
"Nearly half of visitors failed to meet travel protocol. (Harry McGee)
Almost half of passengers arriving into Ireland in December and early January who were contacted by telephone to confirm their place of residence either failed or refused to do so." (/IT/ 20.1.21). It is reported that 30 000 people commute daily from NI to work in Ireland. If only we had been able to close our borders like NZ...
On adding affront to jeopardy (12 i 21)
Do we /have/ to put up with Covid 19 fear AND people saying "impacted", transitively, when they mean "affected".?
We see where the illiteracy ends up, with the online photos of US domestic terrorists carrying banners which read "Stop the Steel" and "Stop Electric Collage".
On saving the ballot boxes (7 i 21)
Watching the joint US Houses count of electoral votes. Thanks, apparently, to today's attempted coup, objections to votes are falling down. Well done, the staffer who rescued the chests of votes when the Capitol was invaded.
On bad “period” drama (27 xii 20)
Finally worked out how it is possible to enjoy the buildings, gardens, ethnic diversity, some dance scenes, and clothes. of /Bridgerton/, without having to endure the godawfulness - vulgar, cringe-making pretentions to "period" language and customs, all in another universe from accuracy. (“She shall trade up“). 1, Put the speed at 1 1/2, except for watching the odd dance scene; 2, pause to look at a garden or room; 3, keep the sound off. Still embarrassing to be watching such tripe plot, and knowing how godawful (tried to find another word) the dialogue is, but at least it's a lot shorter. Just don't let these people near Jane Austen....
On Lara Marlowe on Notre-Dame-de-Paris
Lara Marlowe's excellent article on Notre Dame : https://www.irishtimes.com/.../rebuilding-notre-dame-is... reminds us of the power of culture. Victor Hugo's novel influenced the preservation of the cathedral in the past, and his influence today has attracted much of the funding for restoration. Comparably, poets and painters, including French, influenced the preservation of Niagara Falls from private capitalist exploitation, and its opening to the public as one of the wonders of the modern world. (It also generates electricity. Culture likes win-win). History tells the known facts, literature and the arts tell the truth, and inspire the hope that saves the future.
On the Toy Show (28 xi 20)
Watched the RTE Toy Show for the first time since my children grew up. Ryan Tubridy seems really kind to children. The team's efforts to spread joy and fun for children in this horrid year; the diversity and inclusiveness; the Irish goods highlighted - much to admire. The children were wonderful.
On the first woman Irish University President (24 xi 20)
Congratulations to Prof Kerstin Mey, first woman University President in Ireland, Arts graduate, who states that education is a public good and should be collectively funded. Know nothing else about her, love her already!
On The Den (22 xi 20)
Watching /The Den/, it feels almost as if life is normal again :)
On recent claims about courts being unfair to fathers in custody arrangements. (18xii23)
An asker in the Irish Times today said: "I have a wonderful relationship with my son. He is just like me, he just wants to play and have fun and play football and give lots of hugs.” The asker was unhappy about not having enough accecs to his younger child, a daughter.
My comment here is based solely on that quoted statement: I know nothing about this father, or the many cases which get reported, and have no opinion at all on the lives of people I do not know and have never met - how could I?. So the following is based on a few personal and reported experiences ONLY. In some cases to which I have been close, fathers genuinely wanted a relationship with their child or children - but not actually to care for them, in a sustained,way, including the most burdensome cares. Football with a son, hugs, not taking time off work to care for a sick child / remembering their size in clothes / dealing with upset or angry children, over and over again / seeing the teacher who says there is a problem, then dealing in a calm sustained way with the problem, over months and years, etc, etc. The unrewarded, wearing, repetitive, tedious, essential, bottom-line, never-ending caring which children absolutely need. The fathers in this range of experience wanted ownership, control, to be able to tell the mother what to do and how she was wrong and things were her fault, to control money, in fact, paternal territoriality. Especially with sons. Atavistic, weird, and yet still survives. As said before, there are billions of fathers in the world and I am making no general statement. I know for example of some daughters left to cope with a terminally ill sick mother, and the family, because the father "couldn't cope" so went away and found a new partner. I repeat, I'm talking only ab out situations I have seen. However much society has progressed, there are still fathers who are about the ownership and pride int eir children, not the daily care and the unseen but vital responabilities.
As a personal feeling, thinking of people I actually know, and within those limits, I feel it is hard to imagine a mother actually refusing a father's genuine help, with actual child care, especially the non-fun kinds,and doing so predictably and reliably, not when he felt like it. What some mothers I know wish to distance themselves from, is the kind of fathering which seeks pleasure in parenting but no pain, no demanding, invisible, constant effort to help children be safe, happy, developing, healthy, etc. This requires altruism. Yet again I repeat, the billions of fathers I have never known may be entirely unselfish parents. (One might wonder whether these are often the non=divorced fathers??). I know of a case where the mother sought divorce, the father refused divorce by consent and shared custody; he brought a vexatious conflictiaul custody case, slandering the mother to friends and her colleagues, sabotaged her in every possible way; then, when she got full custody, and wrote to him offering a fixed arrangement of fully shared custody, 50-50, actually refused. He wiuld stay with the udge’s decision of access every second weekend and half hte holidays. What it transpired he wanted, in his custody claim, was control, not giving care; to damage the mother in revenge for no longer wishing to be married to him. He then never paid the small child support laid down. Just one case, or one of quite a few. The world may be full of fathers whose affection for their child or children is giving, unselfish, altruistic, non-ego-driven. Not motivated by football and hugs. Footbsll and hugs are great IN ADDITION TO helping the children be healthy, secure-feeling, healthily fed, living in hygiene, well-educated, with positive social skills. INSTEAD OF - not so good.
“Strategic incompetence“. There are fathers who agree to share the caring, but do their part so poorly that the mother steps in and finds that doing it herself takes less energy. If the marriage ends, such mothers are probably not keen on facilitating more “grandstaning fathering” by fathers who give “every sharing short of actual help”. A mother I know, when attending a professional event, explained that she had asked a friend to take her little daugther to a birthday party, so that the girl would arrive in the right place, on time, dressed as nicely as she wanted to be, and rememerbing the gift. This left to the father, she said, would mean she came home to find the daughter in tears because none of this had been done. It’s called “strategic incompetence”. One of the covering rhetorics for this is “I’d help my wife more, but she’s so particular about everything that nothing I do is right”. Trranslation “I get out of tasks I don’t want to take on by doing them badly enough that she finds it less work to do them herself”. As before- some fathers I know about. Happy to hear of actual examples to the contrary.(With details of responsibilities carried out. Not angry ranting about fathers’ rights. Healthy parenting is about responsibilities, more thsan rights).
I wonder whether if the father had felt “I have a wonderful relationship with my son. I help him with his homework, and give him the best exampl I can of justice and human rights and mutual respect for men and women, and so on, and I share the parent-teacher meetings, and make sure he eats healthy food, and am reading up on child development so I can support him through adolescence, and of course I ahre fully in the costs…” his ex-wife would not get so angry with him? Just a speculation.